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My night. I like this tea. It’s pretty good. It’s called ‘Love’, with rose, chamomile and lavender. It seemed appropriate, even more so since I’m getting a headache. (I’ve been getting them a lot recently…)

So, a bit o’ self-love is called for. Tonight I’ll drink my tea, do some yoga and meditation, go to bed early, call my boyfriend for a little while. (We didn’t get to see each other today but it’s not a big deal. We’ve been together for a while and are really low-key about Valentine’s Day. And pretty much everything else.)

But quickly, before my head starts hurt more, I want to share this.

Sometimes when I’m feeling  just miserable and hopeless, and it’s really hard to believe that the future has anything better to look forward to (fortunately this wasn’t the case today)–sometimes, when I’m lucky enough to remember it, I imagine that Present Me is going out to meet 17-year-old Me, 13-year-old Me, 8-year-old  Me.

And I wonder, what would they think it they could see and talk to Me now?

I’m always surprised to find that I honestly think they would be really, really happy.

I’d tell them, yeah, honestly, it’s still really hard now, to be Me in 2016. There’s a lot of tough shit going on. I really don’t have it all together. I don’t always do the right thing, and I’m not always that good to myself.

And they would nod and get it.

But they’d still think, Yes. I’m going to be that person. They would go back to their day feeling hopeful and excited, knowing that they would be get to be Me someday.

And that helps a little bit.

This is what I think: no matter where you are, whether you’re in a good place or a horrible one, whether you’re proud of or disappointed in yourself, I’ll bet you’ve still come really far.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

 

 

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